Joke Feb 28th

TOP TEN THINGS ONLY WOMEN UNDERSTAND
10. Cats' facial expressions
9. The need for the same style of shoes in different colors
8. Why bean sprouts aren't just weeds
7. Fat clothes
6. Taking a car trip without trying to beat your best time
5. The difference between beige, off-white, and eggshell
4. Cutting your bangs to make them grow
3. Eyelash curlers
2. The inaccuracy of every bathroom scale ever made
And the number One thing only women understand:
1. OTHER WOMEN

Joke Feb 20th

More funny (or not) pick up lines:

Wanna come over for some pizza and sex? No? Why, don't you like pizza?
Baby, I'm an American Express lover...you shouldn't go home without me.
Do you sleep on your stomach? Can I???
Do you have a mirror in your pocket, cause I keep seeing myself in your pants.
I lost my puppy, can you help me find him? I think he went into this cheap motel room.

Joke Feb 19th

More funny (or not) pick up lines:

My friend wants to know if YOU think I'M cute.
Hi, the voices in my head told me to come over and talk to you.
My name isn't Elmo, but you can tickle me anytime you want to.
I know milk does a body good, but DAMN, how much have you been drinking?
If you were the last woman and I was the last man on earth, we could do it in public.

Joke Feb 15th

More funny/sad pick up lines:

- You know, if I were you, I'd have sex with me.
- Those clothes would look great in a crumpled heap on my bedroom floor.
- My name is (name)...remember that, you'll be screaming it later.
- Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again?
- Hi, I'm Mr. Right. Someone said you were looking for me.

Joke Feb 14th (Happy Valentines Day)

Funny (well some gross) pick up lines:

Are those real?
You must be the limp doctor because I've got a stiffy.
I'd walk a million miles for one of your smiles, and even farther for that thing you do with your tongue.
If it's true that we are what we eat, then I could be you by morning.
(Look down at your crotch) Well It's not just going to suck itself!

Joke Feb 12th

More Funny Pickup Lines:

- I wish you were a Pony Carousel outside Walmart, so I could ride you all day long
for a quarter.
- Oh, I'm sorry, I thought that was a braille name tag.
- I'd really like to see how you look when I'm naked.
- Is that a ladder in your stockings or the stairway to heaven?
- You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch
away.