WOMEN'S ENGLISH

"Yes" = No

"No" = Yes"

Maybe" = No"

It's your decision" = The correct decision should be obvious by now.

"Do what you want" = You'll pay for this later.

"We need to talk" = I need to complain.

"sure....... ... go ahead" = I don't want you to.

"I'm not upset" = Of course I'm upset, you moron!

"Be romantic, turn out the lights" = I have flabby thighs.

"This kitchen is so inconvenient" = I want a new house.

"I want new curtains" = and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper.....

"I heard a noise" =I noticed you were almost asleep.

"Do you love me?" = I'm going to ask for something expensive.

"How much do you love me?" = I did something today you're really not goingto like.

"Is my butt fat?" = Tell me I'm beautiful.

"You have to learn to communicate." = Just agree with me.

"Are you listening to me?" = [Too late, you're dead.]