Joke Apr 11th

An older woman goes to see a plastic surgeon who specializes in face lifts. She tells him that she wants to get rid of all her unsightly wrinkles and bags that have accumulated on her face over the years. The doctor tells her "I have 2 very popular procedures that I do. The first one costs $20,000 and it requires a number of incisions to be made around your face. Small scars may be visible but otherwise, the operation is generally painless and very effective. The second procedure only requires me to put a single golden screw into the top of your head. Then whenever you see some bags or wrinkles beginning to appear, just tighten the screw and it will pull up on the skin around your face causing the wrinkles and sags to disappear. The downside is that this procedure costs $40,000. Which one would you like to have done?" After thinking about this for a moment, the woman replies that shewould like the golden screw put in. They make an appointment and the procedure is done. After a few weeks, the woman goes back to the doctor's office. "I had the golden screw put in and it worked for a while, but now I seem to have these big bags under my eyes that I can't get rid of! What can I do?" The doctor orders a battery of tests to be performed on the woman to determine what could be causing these unsightly bags. "Well, ma'am. We seem to have figured out what the problem is. Those big bags under your eyes?.... they are your breasts. And if you keep tightening down on that screw in your head, in a couple of weeks you are going to have a goatee!"